What is Permissive Parenting Style? And Should You Use It
Permissive parenting is a parenting style that gives kids the autonomy to rule their worlds, and there’s nothing wrong with that as long as they’re doing what you want them to do.
It often gets a bad reputation, because parents in this parenting style tend to allow their children to do more than parents using authoritarian parenting.
But, are there benefits to using permissive parenting? And should you use it?
In this article, I will go into detail about what is permissive parenting, how it affects the child, the cons of using permissive parenting, and how to use it for your benefit.
What does “permissive” parenting mean?
Parenting styles fall into one of four categories: authoritative, authoritarian, neglectful, and permissive parenting. These categories are based on responsiveness, demandingness, and consistent use of discipline in raising a child.
Permissive parents have very few demands for behavior or even household rules.
They also give their children a lot of freedom – so much it can be difficult for these kids to adjust when living under the stricter conditions at school or daycare.
Authoritarian Parenting vs. Authoritative Parenting Style
Authoritative parenting is best for most families. It’s characterized by high responsiveness and demandingness, with clear limits on appropriate behavior – at home and in public.
Authoritative parenting is the desired parenting style since the benefits include children with better communication skills, better socialization abilities, a stronger sense of security, higher self-esteem.
Authoritarian parenting is a style of child-rearing in which parents exercise complete control over their children’s lives.
Strict parents are highly demanding but very low on responsiveness to their children’s needs. They may use a lot of physical punishment to get kids to obey rules, leading to resentment that lasts into adulthood.
Parents using an uncompromising approach to parenting expect their orders to be obeyed without question and use punishment to control their children’s behavior.
Research has found that children raised by authoritarian parents are more likely than those raised by authoritative parents to experience feelings of low self-esteem, lack independence, have difficulties with social relationships, and engage in antisocial behavior.
Children from authoritarian homes may also display signs that they are suffering from depression or anxiety disorders.
There’s also another style of parenting called neglectful parenting, which is the least common style out there.
These parents tend not to be responsive to children’s needs and make few demands for appropriate behavior. They also give their kids very little supervision or guidance about brushing teeth or finding a job after high school graduation.
How do you know if your parenting style is permissive?
You might use a permissive parenting style if you have little household structure at home, rarely set limits with your child, give in to his wants and desires whenever possible, and let him make most of his daily decisions himself.
You may also hold very few expectations for what your child should or shouldn’t be doing.
Instead, you recognize that she has free will and let her choose from all the options available at every step of the way – whether it’s what she eats for breakfast or which activities she participates in after school.
What are the benefits of a permissive parenting style?
In many ways, kids raised by these methods tend to be happy and confident in their abilities. In addition, they often feel responsible for taking care of themselves since they’ve been given so much freedom at a young age.
The downside is that permissive kids can be impulsive and cannot consider how their actions might affect others around them.
They may not have learned good communication skills or developed a strong sense of right and wrong.
With less guidance from you, they also may not grow up with a realistic idea of expectations from an employer later on in life or other life responsibilities.
You can avoid these pitfalls by balancing your approach with more classic elements.
What are the permissive parenting effects on a child?
Children of permissive parents typically develop quite a strong sense of self-reliance since they’re used to relying on themselves for everything from tying their shoes to making friends at school.
And if they run into problems in a social situation, they’re often able to talk their way through it.
These kids also tend not to have problems with authority figures when they get older, making it easier for them to adjust when faced with the stricter conditions at school or work.
Plus, since you’ve given them so much freedom in childhood, permissive parents may find that these grown-up children appreciate being treated as capable, independent adults.
Kids raised by permissive parents don’t always know how to deal with boundaries and limits once they enter school – whether it’s a play date that someone else has canceled or a teacher who lectures about a subject they’d instead not learn about.
Later on, they may also have difficulty following directions from authority figures, making it harder to adjust when living under the stricter conditions at school or daycare.
In addition, kids raised by permissive parents have a lot of freedom early and sometimes feel overwhelmed trying to navigate their busy social schedules.
They might also struggle with indecision about which activities to participate in since there’s no one forcing them to choose just one.
Finally, the lack of structure can make it hard for these kids to find a job later on – especially if they don’t know how to ask for favors from friends and family that could help them land a role at a local company or camp.
What are the Challenges of Permissive Parenting Examples?
Parents who use this approach typically give children many leeways when it comes to communicating with them. Without being prompted, kids will let their parents know what they’re thinking and feeling on a day-to-day basis.
A permissive parenting style can make it a little harder to work through discipline problems – especially if the child has a lot going on internally but isn’t communicating how he feels about certain situations.
Parents should be sure to give their child plenty of opportunities every day to talk things out if he wants to, encouraging him to share his thoughts and feelings as much as possible.
What’s the best age group for Permissive Parenting Style?
Permissive parenting can work well for children from preschool age up until early adolescence.
Kids start forming solid opinions around the age of eight or nine, which tends to correspond when this approach starts working less well for parents.
If you don’t set limits with your child early on, it’s harder to do so later on when she’s an adolescent and more likely to test your boundaries.
It can also be challenging to enforce consequences around this age if you’ve been too permissive in the past.
What are the characteristics of a permissive parent?
Many people who use permissive parenting are devoted to improving the lives of others.
These parents are often compassionate towards the needs of others, but they may have a hard time being equally as attentive to their children since they’re so focused on helping everyone else around them first.
What are the most common mistakes parents make when using permissive parenting?
Permissive parenting can be challenging for naturally strong-willed or independent children since they don’t have rules to follow at home.
A common mistake that permissive parents make is not utilizing authoritative parenting plus their permissive parenting style.
However, when you use the combination of these parenting styles, you tend to create ease and flow in your parenting while still gaining the benefits of authoritative parenting.
Permissive Parenting Style Tips
Having a consistently responsive and emotionally stable parenting style is very important for the development of your child.
Someone who wants good results from their parenting efforts should consider taking a parenting class.
Permissive parents do not like to punish their children, but they also do not want to see them get hurt either.
They tend to be fun and liberal with making sure their children are happy, even when it comes at an expense.
For example, a study observed how mothers reacted when their toddlers pushed over another little boy who fell and got hurt. Half of the moms were permissive, while half were authoritarian.
The results showed that the permissive moms helped out by comforting their children instead of chastising them for being aggressive toward other kids. Also, they did not want to leave their kid alone after helping him up because they did not want to be mean.
On the other hand, the authoritarian moms corrected their children by telling them not to do that again and helped out the injured boy directly after making sure their own was okay.
Neither of these approaches ultimately helps the child.
Authoritative parents are somewhere between permissive and authoritarian.
In the authoritative parenting style, parents tend to take a more middle-ground approach with their children because they want them to behave correctly in society and know how far they can go without hurting others – physically or emotionally.
This is where the authoritative parenting style comes in handy for most people.
If you are struggling with getting your children to obey rules, consider taking some time to read up on all of the different types of parenting styles so you can figure out which one might work best for you and your family.
Having a healthy growth-minded approach to parenting is also helpful. It will be easier to understand what behaviors are going too far and which ones might need some work before they become a big problem for everybody involved.
You never know what might happen when you give a child too much leeway with little boundaries, which is why it might be a good idea to make yourself aware of all the different parenting styles out there.
What are permissive parenting examples?
When parenting is permissive, parents believe that children need more freedom and autonomy. Therefore, they wish to respect their child’s opinions and choices at every age level, especially when their child reaches adolescence.
Permissive parenting also refers to over-indulgent parents who are not demanding enough of their children or don’t set boundaries for them. Children can grow up feeling insecure if they are not able to make decisions on their own.
Examples of permissive parenting include letting toddlers decide how much television they watch or allowing teenagers to drink alcohol or consume drugs because they desire it.
Parents are often confused about what constitutes appropriate discipline because it varies with each family dynamic. The point of disciplining a child is to teach them how to behave to ensure safety and protection.
However, when children have too many options, they may become confused about right or wrong.
Some parents believe that permissive parenting encourages independence and self-reliance. These parents give their children more freedom regarding authority figures outside the family, such as teachers, coaches, or friends’ parents.
Parents who allow their child’s peers to influence choices might see less of an issue if the result is anything other than problematic for their teenagers since teenagers often act on peer pressure more than adults do.
Permissive parenting makes life easier for some families because it allows all household members – including children and adult siblings – to have an equal say when making family decisions.
Parents might be more willing to compromise when they understand that there is no point in imposing their ideas on their children and that the child has a right to their own opinion.
Too much power-sharing can create an imbalance within the family dynamic if parents allow children to make all the decisions, leaving them with even less authority than before.
Some families also see permissive parenting as disrespectful because it fails to consider the traditional responsibilities of adults, such as providing for and protecting children until they are capable of doing so themselves.
Allowing teenagers more freedom means parents will get more free time since their teens won’t need constant supervision. For example, if teens start walking to school independently, parents can make other plans in the morning instead of driving them.
But, at the same time allowing teens too much freedom means they are less supervised or protected, which could make life difficult when they are left alone in the house with no one but themselves to rely on.
Parents should also be aware that giving children more freedom than society considers appropriate may backfire if it results in wrong impressions for teachers or employers.
Which parenting style should you use?
In summary, as a Parent Coach, I recommend using either the Authoritative Parenting Style or a blend of Permissive Parenting and Authoritative Parenting.
By doing so, you’ll create a healthy balance between your connection to your child and raising a child that feels secure and safe in the world.