19 Amazing Things that Happen When You Learn to Love Yourself
Learning to love yourself is the best gift you can give yourself and your children.
Research shows that most people do not feel they are good enough and will change ways to fit in or be accepted by those they care about.
Yikes! It’s no wonder that we experience things like mom guilt, not feeling enough, or wanting to be accepted and loved by others.
Many of us are lacking self-love. Like the madly in-love-with-self-kind-of self-love. But that’s ok! Because in this article I will tell you the 19 amazing things that can happen when you learn to love yourself.
So, if you’re finding yourself not loving all parts of who you are, both the parts that are less desirable, just as much as the parts people like about yourself, then chances are you could use a little more self-love.
And you’re about to learn how your life changes when you wildly, deeply, and mindfully love yourself.
Is mom guilt normal, or is mom guilt a lack of self-love and acceptance?
If we truly loved who we are — and again, that includes ALL parts — then would we even experience mom guilt?
Loving yourself is a journey. Because one of the things we know in research is that most of us have suffered some childhood trauma or negative experience that we bring into adulthood.
No one expects you to suddenly love all parts of themselves in one day when it took years and years of learned behaviors to get to where we are now.
Ironically, you can be a confident person and still lack the self-esteem to love yourself fully. You can even look the part, but deep inside, know that part of you wishes you fell madly in love with all of who you are.
Those hidden parts of you that you’re ashamed of? The parts that you get embarrassed about when someone accidentally sees (not just physically but personality)? Those parts are begging to be loved.
How to start loving yourself
Loving yourself entirely is within your capabilities. It doesn’t matter if you spent years hiding parts of yourself or you believe that there’s no way you can love all of who you are.
You can embrace every essence of your being. Believe me, if I was able to do it, then so can you. The secret weapon to self-love is mindfulness.
For most of my life, I spent wanting the approval of others. I lived a life seeking validation from others because I lacked it in myself. Having experienced childhood trauma, I grew up not feeling wanted and seeking happiness from my relationships.
In no way did I believe that joy came from self. How could I when I wasn’t even happy with who I was?
I had to reach a deep low to climb my way out of that cycle and break free. And in return, I found myself. And I learned to love who I was. I learned to be happy within myself first.
It starts with the awareness of lacking self-love and the desire to learn how to love yourself. That’s it.
Do you know how many people think they have self-love and then secretly despise parts of who they are? The shame of self is real.
But, once you know that you’ve loved on your best parts but didn’t love on your less desirable traits, you can then move forward to learn to love yourself in all ways.
How does it feel to love yourself?
Loving yourself feels liberating. You no longer confine yourself to the expectations and approval of others.
You’re able to make authentic choices for yourself and in your parenting without feeling the mom’s guilt when you mess up because you begin to accept yourself as a human, and mistakes are part of being one.
You experience life with happiness, intention, mindfulness, and growth. Because you know you’re worth it.
What happens when you don’t love yourself?
Not loving yourself is the complete opposite of mindfulness. You become over-focused on the chatter of others, the approval of your friends and family, and you cannot give yourself grace.
When you don’t love yourself, you set expectations that you can’t possibly meet and then hate yourself for failing.
Your emotions are at the mercy of others, and you can be easily swayed in both directions. The words of someone can make or break you.
And you’re consistently second-guessing yourself, relying on others to give you the answers since you cannot connect deeply to who you are.
19 Things that Happen When You’re a Mom that Learns to Love Herself
There are so many benefits of self-love that you can experience as you invite self-love into your life. I can’t wait for you to experience these.
1) You stop expecting happiness from your relationship
Happiness does not come from others. Your partner or spouse cannot make you happy. Your children cannot make you happy.
Happiness is an inside job. When you love yourself, you no longer expect someone else to make you happy but instead to share in the happiness you’ve created inside of yourself.
You choose happiness daily because you know that happiness is a choice we get to make.
2) You start to see the best in others.
When you love all parts of yourself, you’ve given yourself so much grace and empathy that you are then able to see and love the best of others.
Interestingly, often people see the worst in others because it reflects the worst of self. That’s why the disapproval of others is actually about them and not about you.
Seeing the best in yourself results in seeing the best in those around you. It’s almost like your love radiates out towards those around you.
3) Little things no longer stress you
Remember when your child is whining or your partner doing that one annoying thing he always does to drive you insane? Those little things stop stressing you out when you have a deep sense of self-love.
Living with self-love is also living in mindfulness. You become aware of your triggers, your needs, and what you need for growth.
And instead of being stressed out, you realize that each individual has their path and that you’re able to observe without owning every stressor in life.
There’s a vast difference between owning a thought or observing a thought or emotion. When you love yourself, you learn much better how to do the latter.
4) You accept and embrace your past
We cannot change our past, but we can embrace it to help us become who we are today. When you learn to love yourself, you realize that nothing has happened to you, as much as it has happened for you.
Everything that has happened so far in your life was part of your story, and that you have the choice to embrace your past for the lessons it provided you.
5) Your confidence is solid
With self-love comes the ability to trust who you are and lean on the fact that you are unique and your gifts to the world are plentiful.
You’re able to tap into your inner wisdom and higher self in such a way that the decisions you make are with true confidence.
Because of the work you put into your self-love, you can stop second-guessing yourself.
6) You wake up excited and happy for a new day
There’s nothing like the feeling of content and happiness as you start yourself. But, of course, this comes with radical self-love.
Loving yourself allows you to choose happiness for yourself. You’re aware of all the parts of you that make this world amazing, and you know what you have to contribute to yourself and your family.
You love yourself so hard that you’re taking care of your mind, body, spirit wellness, and so each day is simply an opportunity to enjoy being alive.
7) You can forgive others
The act of loving yourself allows you the space to also forgive others that have hurt you in your past and present.
In my past, I had sexual abuse, physical and emotional abuse, as well as abandonment. And for years, I felt shame in that.
But, once I learned to love myself, I could forgive those that caused me to harm and even feel compassion for the hurt they must have experienced in their own lives that caused them to act the way they did.
Self-love taught me that forgiveness is freedom—forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others.
8) You realize how much you matter
One of the clear signs in my work with parents that self-love is lacking is when self-care lacks.
Self-care isn’t about a lack of time; it’s about a lack of self-love.
We make time for what we love, just like how you can find time for your work, your children, and your partner because you love them. When you love yourself, you realize that you also matter.
The beautiful result of realizing you matter is that you begin to pour from your overflow. You start to love yourself through self-care that others get your extras vs. you operating from nearly capacity all the time.
9) You live life authentically
Nothing says “I love me” more than when you start to no longer care about the approval of others and instead live authentically.
When you love yourself, you realize that there’s only one of you in the whole wide world and that you are a wonderful human being.
I remember as a kid, a teacher told me I was too rambunctious. And since a teacher (in my mind a person of authority that knew more than I did) told me this, it stuck to me as a kid. And so I spent a lot of my life wishing I was a quieter, softer spoken, more laid-back being.
Once I learned to love myself, I embraced my way of living life, laughing hard, talking loud, and filling up space. It stopped being something I hid, and instead, I loved that part of me.
Being authentic helps you release all the expectations of others and bring your best into the world, the best being exactly who you are.
10) You stop putting kids, partner, work, and everything else before you
Self-love means that you place yourself at the forefront. And while others see that as selfish, because our society worships mother martyrhood, it’s actually a gift to your kids, partner, and work to pour into yourself.
When you begin to love yourself so much that you place yourself first, you’re able to be of service to others from a whole place, vs. a fragmented version trying to do it all without the inner capacity to do so.
Others benefit when you love yourself enough to place your wellness at the beginning of the line.
11) You stop silencing yourself
Most people do not feel worthy, and therefore will often second-guess themselves or, even worse, silence their voice or thoughts in the presence of others.
While this is also a result of inner child wounds, making yourself smaller is a sign of lacking self-love.
When you love yourself, you feel worthy of thought, sharing, and expressing exactly how you feel. And that’s a beautiful feeling.
12) You invest in your mind, body, spirit wellness
Because you love yourself so much, you also know that your emotional and mental health wellness matters.
And you’re so intuned to your needs, through your self-love, that you’re willing to invest in what helps you grow.
For years, I spent money on my kids and others and rarely on myself. But, when I found self-love, I began to invest in healers that aligned with where I wanted to go in life and surrounded myself with a community of supportive people that helped me find my best self.
13) You become aware of your choices
In mindfulness, we learn that we are responsible for every choice we have made in life. When you have self-love, you become keenly aware of your choices because each choice you make will either help you be better or make you worse.
At this point in my self-love journey, no choice is made mindlessly, hoping for the best. Instead, I can tap into my higher self and learn how to make choices that serve me through self-love.
My choices in parenting, life, and work all come from space, self-love, and awareness.
14) You appreciate the good and the bad
Everything happens for a reason. And there’s a lesson to be learned from everything that happens in your life, good and bad.
Part of loving yourself strongly is appreciating all aspects of life because you know they serve a purpose.
Self-love doesn’t mean that you won’t stumble (we are human after all) through the bad parts of life; it simply means that you have equipped yourself to know how to navigate all parts, and you’re able to observe the bad to decipher its purpose in your life.
15) You kiss mom guilt goodbye
Mom guilt is a lack of self-love. We are told it’s normal, but it’s only normal when you lack self-love.
When you love yourself, you understand that we are responsible only for our happiness and not others’. And that through your imperfections, you’re able to grow and become a better version of yourself.
Just like you would never purposely shame a young child for a mistake, you no longer internally shame yourself through guilt when you love yourself.
You learn to give yourself love, care, and grace, and eventually, the mom guilt is no longer a part of your life.
16) You start to set new boundaries
Loving yourself means being willing to put boundaries for how you want others to treat you.
You realize that part of your self-love includes protecting your energy. And so you make mindful decisions for your boundaries, and you have trust that those that value and love you will support you in these.
17) You stop caring what people think of you
One of the most liberating parts of self-love is letting go of caring what others think of you.
Because you love yourself and experience inner happiness, the love of others is extra.
You learn that through being yourself and not living by others’ standards, you experience self-confidence and self-assurance. And the negative opinions or comments of others no longer affect you.
18) You will start enjoying who you are.
The more you love yourself, the more you enjoy being you. You enjoy life on your own, just as much as you do with your children and partner.
You learn not just how to love yourself but also to like yourself. And that shines a bright light that attracts good into your life.
There’s something quite magical when you begin to enjoy who you are and can quickly stop negative narratives because you remind yourself how much love you have for yourself.
19) Your children learn to love themselves too.
Self-love radiates. And self-love inspires others. When you experience self-love, you become like a light in the world that attracts the best of others just by having them see what it looks like to self-love.
Your children learn from what you do, not by what you say. So, when they see you experiencing self-love, they too know how to love themselves fully.
We can tell our children to love themselves and that they matter all day long, but they will learn through our actions if they do not see us doing the same.
One of my most incredible pride in learning to love is knowing that my children will know this for themselves simply by watching me.
Self-love is the greatest gift you can give yourself.
Though most people do not feel worthy or that they are enough, you can overcome this by practicing self-love. You’ll know what the signs of self-love are and the goodness it brings into your life and that of those you love.
Taking the journey of self-love may not always be an easy thing, and it may ask of you to do a lot of work and inner work, but it is the first step toward living your best life.
Embracing the concept of self-love means addressing negative self-talk and transforming negative thoughts into loving thoughts, which is fundamental for personal growth.
By practicing self-love, you learn to meet your basic needs, which is crucial for both your mental well-being and spiritual growth.
Recognizing that you are worthy of love allows you to establish healthy boundaries and foster stronger relationships, moving away from toxic relationships that feed on low self-esteem and external validation.
The magic of self-love lies in appreciating oneself and recognizing that you are the only person responsible for your own happiness. This realization is a magical thing, as it leads to positive changes in all aspects of your daily life, helping you to become your own best friend and best advocate.
Self-love means knowing you can make mistakes and still be the best version of yourself, emphasizing the importance of learning and growing in healthy ways.
It teaches you to take care of your own needs and enjoy your own company, which is essential for a fulfilling whole life.
Self-loving actions, like acknowledging your own abilities and spiritual needs, contribute to a state of appreciation and true happiness, free from the hold of people’s opinion.
In essence, the practice of self-love is about living in your own skin comfortably and finding joy in life’s ups and downs.
It’s about knowing that the right time to love yourself is now, and the only reason to do it is to experience the good things and positive things that come with a healthy amount of self-love.
Embracing the concept of self-love is the best way to ensure you lead a life filled with healthy relationships, enjoying yourself and your own friends.
A sense of magic of self-love, and the ability to lower stress, ultimately allowing you to meet your own best interest and enjoy long-term relationships and important relationships in all areas of your life.
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